The cartoon below brilliantly illustrates indiscriminate email marketing tactics, run amok. Enjoy.
Kudos to Bryan at Email Marketing Voodoo who first spotted it on bradcolbow.com. I found it on Return Path’s Club Inbox.
My sentiments exactly.
I calculated that assuming it takes a person a half of a second to identify an email as marketing tosh, and then another half a second to move the mouse to the select box (I used gmail) then to successfully kill someone all we need to do is sell their email address, once they have selected the selected partners box, to 1,470,000 other companies, and they will die in their inbox. This allows for two hours a day to eat and eight hours a day to sleep, and is based on a fifty year campaign of harrassment. Of course if they don’t keep a clean inbox then this would need slightly more than doubled, to say 3 million. there are 187 million businesses in the world (according to some random website that google scraped) so we only need to create a partner network of around 1.6% of the world businesses and all people who tick that box will be dead. A consequence of this will be that this kind of marketing will no longer work, and we can remove the selected partners box thus optimising the page and removing choice. This will increase email marketing sign up rates of the future!
MyDesignDeals has been pulling this kind of stuff on me ever since I subscribed–more’s the pity because I love design, am responsible for buying and selecting templates our company needs, AND at the least I love to share ahead great stuff I find. But their spammy tactics ensure their emails always go unopened. :/
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